Needs Abounding...

This morning, as I opened up my devotional, the quote - "where needs abound, grace more abounds" caught my attention. I began thanking the Lord for His grace and how he had brought me through a very difficult day yesterday. (Needless to say, our home yesterday was not one of grace and peace!) However, I didn't realize that the Lord was trying to prepare me for what lie ahead. Today has been one of those days when I have questioned many things like - (what are we going to do, you can't come up with anything better than that, God -is this really all worth it, and what am I doing wrong??) just to name a few.

The day started off with Abby going into a screaming fit for no apparent reason. Chris handled it, so I really couldn't tell you what it was, just that it was over something very silly. Now, when I mean screaming fit, I mean constant for at least twenty minutes, and nothing, I repeat nothing, we do will stop it. She finally got calmed down and then went downstairs to play. A few minutes later, I discover that she has found a bag of moon sand and dumped it all over the carpet. When questioned about why she would do such a thing, she stubs up and says nothing. I have already told her that I am the queen of stubbornness and that she will not win; however, today she almost did. I carried her upstairs and she got her second dose of "good cold water" way before 9 am. She then commences to screaming and kicking the wall for well over thirty minutes. I felt like I had had the breathe knocked out of me. I felt so defeated! I called Chris and was crying over the phone that "I can't do this." All the while, I am being reminded - "where needs abound, grace more abounds."

I went downstairs to clean up and I just fell to my knees and bawled my eyes out. I was weeping for many different things - Abby is so miserable and unhappy and then she tries to make us the same, I felt defeated and weaker than I have in a long time, and I was weeping because I want to be a mother to her, but I feel like she doesn't want that. There is so much going on in her heart and mind. The problem is that she will be great for a couple of days and really seem to be coming around, then "BOOM" the bomb goes off and our home is in chaos once again. Another problem is that you never know what is going to set her off on one of her fits. Later this afternoon, after Chris rescued me and took Abby to the doctor looking for some kind of help, they returned and Abby asked for a snack. Well, she had just eaten lunch, so we told her no, not now. Would you believe that resulted in ANOTHER screaming fit!! - over wanting a snack!!

I really don't know what to do...I just know that God was trying to prepare me to lean on Him and drink up His grace. Our needs are great, and looking through our eyes they seem impossible to handle; however, His grace is even greater than all of those needs!

A Year Has Passed...

So much has happened over the past year and I wish that I had blogged everything down, because there is no way that I will remember. First of all, let me say that considering how things were this time last year, our home life is much improved! Abby continues to make progress everyday. She is still the most stubborn child I have ever met, but I keep telling the Lord that He knew that only Chris and I would be able to break that stubbornness, because we are the King and Queen!

Emily is almost finished with 1st grade. She is doing so well in school and continues to be sweet Emily. Elizabeth is now almost 6 months old already. She is such a joy and I call her our little "Rae" of sunshine!!

As I look back over the past year, I can see God's hand in everything. I am sorry to say that for the most part of 2009, I threw myself a HUGE pity party. I became bitter at God, Abby, and my circumstances. I even questioned whether we had made a mistake, that maybe I had jumped ahead of God's will. You would have had to had lived it to believe that I actually felt that way.

A New Adventure Begins with a....BABY??!!

I have heard so many stories of people adopting a child and then ending up pregnant after years of not being able to...however, I never thought that we would end up being one of those stories!! After almost six years of no birth control since Emily's birth, the Lord has decided to bless us with another miracle!! I am about 10 weeks and pregnant and still in shock from it all!!!

What makes this even more so miraculous is that almost a year ago I was having major problems with endometriosis which included a trip to the emergency room. I was ready to take care of the problem and put in several calls and emails to my doctor to schedule a hysterectomy. Well, he never responded to any of my attempts to contact him, which is seemed very strange to me at the time because he was always great about returning messages. I was even praying, "please let the doctor call me back!!" Well, a year later we know why he never called back. God wasn't done yet!! He never ceases to amaze me!!!

Please continue to pray for us as another Hayes adventure is about to begin!!

Adventure Update

It has been awhile since I have had the time to post on our blog. I have no idea where the past two months have gone! We are getting more adjusted to all our new things..new home, city, church, and of course, our new family member. The past couple of weeks have been very trying with Abby. She will be fine and then her whole demeanor will change. If she doesn't get her way, she either throws whatever she can get her little hands on, or last week she started stripping down completely naked. Thankfully the naked part has only happened at home:)))

Last Monday, I started the day on the right foot by getting up in time to have my quiet time in the morning. I read some verses on God's gentleness and how we should show gentleness to others. So, I thought OK Lord, help me to show gentleness to my family today...little did I know that I would be tested the entire day!! Everything went wrong. I felt like I was going to strangle Emily during the morning and trying to get her school work done. Then, the afternoon strangle was due to little Abby! I called my Mom the next day and she must have heard the desperation or insanity in my voice, because she was at our home by Thursday. The calvary has come to the rescue!! It was such a blessing having her here to help with the girls. We decided to separate them into different bedrooms; which so far seems to be alot better. Mom also helped me during the mornings which seems to be our most trying time with trying to teach school and having the girls compete for my attention in the process. So, I am grateful to the Lord for my Mom and her help - WHAT A BLESSING!!

The girls do seem to be getting more used to each other. Emily is a little mommy to Abby and she now says that she loves having a little sister!! She loves to help Abby with her clothes. I think she enjoys dressing her up like a baby doll.

2-27-09 - Abby is doing so much better!! She will name all four of us and then hold out her hands and say "FAMILY" with a great big smile on her face! She is going to bed without much drama and seems to be very happy! Also, thankfully, the naked part has ended...so far!!

The other day I was reading an article about a family that adopted a seven year old girl from India. The mom was sharing her struggles during the first several months after bringing her home. Several of the things they had experienced, we have experienced too, so I could definitely relate. She mentioned how her daughter never seemed satisfied with anything she had, she always wanted more. We have seen that with Abby..always grabbing for something else. The mother stated how sometimes she just wanted to yell, "Why can't you be thankful and satisfied with me just being your mother??" Then she said something that really struck me. She said the Lord reminded her that maybe He feels that way sometimes with her. He may be thinking - "Isn't it enough that I am your Father?? Yet, you are always coming to Me for more?" WOW! The Lord sure has a great way of humbling us sometimes, doesn't He? I thank Him for His presence and for being my Heavenly Father. He love us that much!!!

Home Sweet Home!!

We are just now getting internet access at our new home so we haven't been able to post anything before today! I think we may finally be getting over the jet lag! I have never been so tired in all of my life!!

First, let me say that I don't care if I ever see the inside of an airplane or airport EVER!! The flights back from China were horrific! We left Guangzhou at 8:15am-Jan. 1st to Beijing. Left Beijing at 1:00pm - Jan. 1st; arrived 1:30pm in NYC on JANUARY 1ST!!!! Poor Abby didn't enjoy the flight at all...she only slept 2 hours on the flight to NYC, the rest of the time she was crying and screaming!! I don't know who I felt more sorry for- us, or the people sitting around us!

Once we finally got home, our new home in Ooltewah, TN, we were completely exhausted, but thankful that the Lord had seen us through yet another Hayes adventure and we knew that the adventure was going to continue...

Since our adventure in Tennessee has begun, each day seems to get better. The jet lag is finally gone, we are trying to sort through our stuff, and trying to get used to one another. Abby took right to Emily and her Nana and Papa(Candi's parents). Emily didn't really know what to do with Abby for the first couple of days, but everyday seems to get better. She(Emily) has been so brave and is growing up so fast. She couldn't wait to go to AWANA this past Wed. night at our new church. She surprised us by walking to her class with her teacher and seemed to really enjoy herself! Our first Sunday service, I was really on pins and needles. I didn't know what to expect from Abby with it being her very first time in church. But, praise the Lord, she just sat there and took everything in, ate her Goldfish, and acted like she had been in church all of her life. She was even giving high fives and hugs by the end of the service. Thank You Lord for another answered prayer!

Don't get me wrong, we have our challenges and battles each and every day, but I know that the Lord will see us through. I was reading in the Psalms yesterday and read, I believe in Psalm 56 where He bottles up our tears!! I told the Lord, I imagine that He already has a warehouse full of bottles from my tears. He keeps reminding me that His grace is sufficient for me...in everything!!

Almost Home

We are almost home! Our journey here in China has been one filled with God's miracles and His grace. I still feel like I am in a dream. I wonder when all of this will hit me! I look back over the past few months…since September, and I can only say that His strength is perfect and that nothing is impossible with God. I praise Him for giving us strength and peace during all of the happenings and events taking place.

Today, we had our group picture taken in the hotel lobby. Almost half of our group will leave out tomorrow. Even though all of us are ready to go home, it was sad to say goodbye. But, we know that we have made some life long friends during this trip. Termite, Tracey, and family from Big Spring, TX came by our room this evening to say goodbye. We have been with them throughout this whole trip. It is amazing how quickly we have bonded and I know that our friendship will be for a lifetime.

This afternoon, we had our appointment at the US Consulate. We all walked in, went through security, checked our passports, raised our right hands and said "I will"….and "ta-dah" it was done!! That is the quickest thing we have ever seen the US Government do!! I guess they figured that after three years of nothing but paperwork, they should give us a break. So, on January 1, 2009 when we land at JFK airport in NYC, our Abby YiYa will officially be a US Citizen!!!

Abby continues to open up to both of us. She has even gotten attached to several of the teenagers on the trip with us and will reach up to them to pick her up. She is hilarious and very sweet, but also has a stubborn streak…does she get that from the Hayes or Jones side….probably both!! We can't wait for Abby and Emily to meet. Our prayer is that they will bond and love each other from first sight!

On a side note: If I eat at a McDonalds within the next ten years it will be too soon!! I might throw up the next time I even see those golden arches in the sky.

Almost Home...they say that home is where the heart is. My heart is already in TN...where our family will be reunited on January 1st...what a way to celebrate the New Year!

Guangzhou

The final phase.
We arrived in Guangzhou on Friday, December 26. Our first flight with Abby was not without tears! She was fine until the last 30 minutes when we had to put the seat belt back on…many tears! Once in the airport we had to wait for the rest of the group to arrive. It was exciting for us to watch as one by one families would arrive from their flights with their new little ones.

We arrived at the China Hotel around 8 pm - exhausted again. We had been on the go since noon and we were ready for bed. Candi and Abby went to the room first while I took care of getting some instructions for the next day. Candi said - Abby cried for a little while once in the room - probably because it was unfamiliar.

Once I arrived in the room I about cried as well…the room was pretty elaborate - our first thought was this is very unnecessary, but then their must be a reason for this - security perhaps???

During the next two days Abby's personality is really beginning to shine. This girl is funny!!!! She can take over an entire room if allowed. Her and Emily will have great time together once they get used to each other.

Night before last Candi was saying bedtime prayers with Abby and when she said "amen", Abby looked up and said "AMEN!" Candi felt like shouting from the rooftop!! She has already learned that before we eat we bow our heads and pray and that she can eat once we say "Amen". What a blessing!! Our prayer is that the Lord would make Himself known to her and that she would receive His gift of salvation at an early age!

Here in Guangzhou we will get much of the paperwork completed then be ready for our trip home. It could not come sooner. We are ready!

Note: the Internet is very expensive in hotel so we had to wait and go to Starbucks to post this! Oh, and if anyone says that things in China are cheap - they are telling you a line. WE have yet to see that part of China:).

Guangzhou is very western - it looks like I would imagine Vegas being. Lights, hotels, hookers, and many people - - ugh!

Well, until next time - God bless!